Vic Socotra

23 November 2010

Thanksgiving Pain and Pilgrims

It is the big travel day before the big travel holiday- Turkey Day. All anyone can talk about is the intrusive body searches. You know me- I am a take-no-prisoners fanatic about personal liberty, and it seems like we just have to walk sheep-like into the pen on this one.

My associate from Massachusetts was traveling yesterday just ahead of the big rush, and called to let me know the journey was uneventful.

“So how was the security thing?” I asked.

“Nothing. No problem. Much ado about nothing.”

“I guess I will just resign myself to going through the screening. I would prefer they buy me dinner first if they are going to grope me, but travel just is a pain anyway.”

“Yes. It is a Palin ... a Sarah Palin in the butt.”

“You know, that is the real issue I have with this whole deal- the skin-scan does not show if there is anything in a body cavity, which is what they tried in an assassination attempt against the chief of Saudi security.”

“So that is next?”

“Can’t detect explosives inside the body with a pat down or a body scan, so I imagine so. The brother- no kidding- the BROTHER of the printer cartridge bomb-maker inserted the explosives up his ass. He only succeeded in killing himself, so I don't know if it is possible to get a aircraft-killing amount of material into the colon. “

“That is disgusting.”

“Yeah,” I said, “The whole thing is very inelegant, but these guys are jerks. Richard Reid and that other asshole- the underpants idiot, not to put too fine a point on it- were supposed to get close to main structural components of the airplanes. Didn't work for either of them.”

“Thank God. I hope someone is testing to find out whether a human body can accommodate enough explosives to bring an airplane down.”

“Yeah,” I responded with a sigh. “That is why the profiling angle is what is important. I would think someone with a big enough bomb to do damage would be in obvious distress- hence, what you profile for is discomfort, not national origin or religion.”

“Ignoring all the factors- like a young male traveling on a one-way ticket without luggage regardless of his Faith might make you take notice. Treating everyone like a terrorist is not the answer.”

“Crazy world. Glad you made it safely. Have a great Turkey Day!”

We hung up- well, of course no one hangs up anymore. We disconnected. So if you are traveling today, I wish you the best. And here are two ways to decompress when you get to where you are going:

TBorts Recipe For
“Pusser’s Pain Killers”

Note
1 Batch of Painkillers = 56 ounces (oz)
2 Batches (112 oz) required/tailgate event

Ingredients

- 8 oz of Pusser’s Rum
- 8 oz of Cream of Coconut
- 8 oz of Orange Juice
- 32 oz of Pineapple Juice

Directions

In a large glass container:

-       Blend Cream of Coconut with Orange Juice
-       Blend in Pusser’s Rum
-       Blend in Pineapple Juice
-       Pour into plastic beverage containers
-       Cap container and shake thoroughly
-       Chill for several hours
-       Shake thoroughly before pouring to serve
-       Garnish drink with nutmeg, orange slice and cherry

Happy Pilgrim.

1 1/2 ounces of cranberry vodka,
1/2 ounce triple sec,
Splash of Chambord black raspberry liqueur
1 squirt of Rose's lime juice.
Combine all ingredients and chill.

The total makes one drink.

I will be thinking of you all when drinking mine on Thanksgiving. Of course, I will start earlier than you. Like at lunch today.