29 May 2010
 
The Rules (Lest We Forget)


Oh, you better believe it. The swim trunks are out, the towel is at the ready. An electrifying book is in the tote bag along with a fresh Bic lighter and the sun block I rarely use.
 
I have the new pool pass in the plastic sleeve and am fully prepared to meet the new lifeguard from an as yet unknown central European republic. We have been counting down the days until the Big Pink Pool is once again operational since the dark chill days of February when the drifts of dirty snow covered the cars in the lot.
 
It is a long weekend. The office was a ghost town on Friday, as people take advantage of the “working from home rules” or a day of vacation to stretch out the three-day holiday into four or five.
 
I felt the languid slip into holiday mode as the sound of big bikes began to surge on the streets of Arlington as thousands of bikers arrive for the annual carnival of Rolling Thunder.
 
The sound of Harley-Davidson motors lends an air of aggressive gravity as the bikers rev up in their campground between the churches across the street. It reminds me of the reason all the old guys on their expensive bikes started to come to town on Memorial Day, which was to signal their pride in our Veterans, regardless of the conflict. It was edgy when it started, a deliberate straining of the same rules that were supposed to govern those who protested the War, this time showing up in mass to honor them.
 
Growing up in the days before Vietnam, this holiday was about sacrifice past: Iwo Jima, Belleau Wood, San Juan Hill and Gettysburg.
 
Vietnam ripped things up pretty well. The wounds appear to have healed, and the shaggy men and women on the big bikes were part of restoring the holiday as something for all who served. This morning, though, I pulled up the Times and saw that the summer fighting season was well underway in Afghanistan.
 
The 1,000th American casualty in that war was reported soberly, along with the news that Paktia and Nuristan are aflame. US helicopters are supporting Afghan police in the Barg-e-Matal District.
 
I got a note from a pal who is at war today. He is in a position of authority on the deadly serious enterprise in Afghanistan, and he copied me on a note he sent to the Regional Headquarters, reminding his folks why we celebrate this day: Memorial Day was established in 1868 ... on May 5th of that year, military guidance for its observance was promulgated for the first time in General Order #11, from Washington, DC:
 
"THE 30TH DAY OF MAY IS DESIGNATED FOR THE PURPOSE OF STREWING WITH FLOWERS OR OTHERWISE DECORATING THE GRAVES OF COMRADES WHO DIED IN DEFENSE OF THEIR COUNTRY...(to honor)  THE MEMORY OF OUR HEROIC DEAD, WHO MADE THEIR BREASTS A BARRICADE BETWEEN OUR COUNTRY AND ITS FOES…(let us) GATHER AROUND THEIR SACRED REMAINS AND GARLAND THE PASSIONLESS MOUNDS ABOVE THEM WITH THE CHOICEST FLOWERS OF SPRING-TIME; LET US RAISE ABOVE THEM THE DEAR OLD FLAG THEY SAVED; LET US… AID AND ASSIST THOSE WHOM THEY'VE LEFT AMONG US A SACRED CHARGE UPON A NATION'S GRATITUDE, THE SOLDIER'S AND SAILOR'S WIDOW AND ORPHAN."  SIGNED, GENERAL JOHN A. LOGAN, COMMANDER IN CHIEF, HEADQUARTERS, G.A.R.

I cannot forget, and will stop by Arlington to place flowers on the graves of my pals who died that day in September when the world lurched on its axis.
 
Still, as we remember there are things that must be acknowledged in the present.
 
First things first todayThe 46th season of aquatics will have its challenges. A simmering feud has been on the back burner since last year. Sure, there were excesses. There were clear violations of The Rules, which include the usual prohibitions on food and drink and glass containers.
 
We cheerfully ignored the ones we did not like and held others to tough standards if we didn’t like them.
 
There were some things that did not make it in this Year’s edition of The Rules. There was no mention about Speedo Briefs in the swimsuit clause. The ladies hate the Professor and that French wimp who parade around in those bikini things with all their inadequacies on display.
 
One year they took up a collection to purchase the Professor some boxer-style trunks out of self-defense. The Prof is a backslider, though, and I expect another collection will have to be taken this season.
 
I carefully reviewed the rules when they were issued, and saw nothing I could not live with, providing I could avoid detailed scrutiny of the contents of my plastic water bottle.
 
Then, with the day almost upon us, a revised copy of the The Rules appeared in our mailboxes. I took a close look to see if I was mentioned by name, and was relieved to see I was not. But in bold type on Page Two was an amendment:
 
“Smoking is prohibited within the fenced swimming pool area.”
 
Oh, there will be heck to pay over this one. For nearly a half-century the little galvanized steel buckets with sand in the bottom have been arrayed by the lifeguard table to accommodate the practitioners of a perfectly legal, if irritating, addiction.
 
The PC police has arrived in force, and I am betting it is the French wimp who complained to the board. He claims to have asthma, or something, which means to me he ought to stay upwind.
 
But we will see how this plays out. The key is to be first in the water. I think there will be a titanic clash of wills this season, broken directly along the demographic chasms of old and young, gay and straight, conservative and progressive.
 
There was seething resentment about The Grandmas who bring their entire extended families to the pool in clear violation of the prescribed number of guests (3), the fact that the grill is right on the other side of the fence, and no place to dine outside except at the pool tables; and that idiot from the sixth floor who thinks he can bring his moronic buddies and glass bottles of Corona beer to the pool.

I don't think the battle of the rafts will be fought again, with that very large woman bobbing about in the deep end, but we will see.
 
I forget the other issues. I am sure they will become apparent soon enough. In the meantime, I will not forget those who provided- and are providing- us the luxury of  a day off by the pool and the privilege of enforcing The Rules on our neighbors.
 
Copyright 2010 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
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