03 October 2007

Rules Of Washington


We need to talk about the String of Pearls, the intricate ring of alliances the circle the Middle Kingdom, and we need to talk about the implications of China's rise. The world is changing, quickly, and while our attention is on Iraq and how to pay for it, the Chinese are changing the basic landscape in a manner as profound as the damming of the Yangtze at the Three Gorges.

When we wake up, we are going to act very surprised, though it is all there, plain as day.

China's rise is fueled by America's policy. Policy is formed in Washington, which is a place that operates by rules that are operative in all democracies, but in mostly dilute form. Here they are concentrated by the amount of money and power to be distributed. Of course, playing by the rules may contribute to the lessening of the poll of resources to be divided.

But of course, the underlying principle is that you can bury the dead in the future, in some other budget cycle, and no one will ever know who was responsible for the mess when it comes. The President is doing that about the war; he will stay the course and make it someone else's problem.

Don Rumsfeld, a man of cerebral and serene self-confidence, came back to Washington with his own set of rules about how to operate in the White House. He published them with some fanfare as he set about making the most profound changes to the Pentagon since the other famous Secretary, Robert Strange McNamara.

Some insiders say that the effects of what Mr. Rumsfeld did will be as long-lasting as the ones that McNamara imposed- the ones that came within a whisker of driving the Ford Motor Company out of business. Here are the rules we follow here, as we speed toward the abyss in our shiny cars:

If it's worth fighting for, it's worth fighting dirty for.

Don't lie, cheat or steal...unnecessarily.

There is always one more son of a bitch than you counted on.

An honest answer can get you into a lot of trouble.

Sound bites rule.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

You can always kick the can down the road.

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

Chicken Little only has to be right once.

There is no such thing as a final decision.

"NO" is only an interim response.

You can't kill a bad idea.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

The truth is a variable.

The bad guys don't always win, but think hard when you do.

A porcupine with his quills down is just another fat rodent.

The only way to find out if you can trust someone is to travel with him to someplace awful.

Agree with any concept or notional future option in principle, but fight implementation every step of the way.

A promise is not a guarantee.

If you have to explain it in The Post, you already lost.

Standards of Ethics: If you want it, you can't have it. If it tastes good, spit it out.

If you can't counter the argument, leave the meeting.

Never underestimate the power of an unsigned memorandum.

A pretty baby has many parents; an ugly baby is a bastard.

We are all contractors, sooner or later. Be nice.

Want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

Copyright 2007 Anon, Vic Socotra, and the estate of Harry S. Truman
www.vicsocotra.com

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