There is a lot to talk about today, and trust me, the Writer’s Section at Socotra House was actively discussing it. The problem is, or better said, one of the problems, is that the Old America is still around. The Television featured a team from Nathan’s Hot Dogs grilling up some of their famous frankfurters in a variety of styles to accommodate some of our guilty snacking pleasures. In the background are the other issues, and Management approached the problem adroitly. Some bratwurst links approaching end-of-cycle were removed from the freezer so that some adherents could grill some later, after the Swim Day routine.
The Section was told they could write away on whatever mania they happened to be experiencing on this particular morning. Controversial items should be flagged as “Winds of Change” articles for limited, carefully controlled distribution. Other, more jovial social events could still be reported as normal in The Daily distribution to avoid being flagged by special surveillance by the Federal agencies that seem to be looking for it.
The Chairman was content to let the Section produce whatever and issued no guidance. Instead, he seemed to prefer a reference to the enormous effort in time and money for the Hot Dog Industry to lobby Congress as to the importance of the frankfurter in American life. In this case, it was the traditional German variety, fused with Polish gusto and smothered in sauerkraut. Given international developments, it was given an Asian touch with Korean-based cabbage to celebrate that 14-month one year tour Chairman Socotra talks about that spanned 1980 to 1981.
Some of the Section went with it, since Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs incorporates the struggle of America against a callous world. The chain started in 1916, as war raged in the once-civilized fields of France. At Coney Island in Brooklyn, Polish immigrant Nathan Handwerker started a nickel hot dog stand with a $300 loan from two friends. He included the genius of America’s women, or at least some of the Polish ones, and their still-secret spice recipe. Today, Nathan’s is the most famous hot dog in this world. Should you wish to see the original restaurant at the corner of Surf and Stillwell Avenues, it is still there to see.
It is also the site of the annual Hot Dog Eating Contest, held on the 4th of July. It is renowned in the arena of competitive eating, which has contributed to the pandemic-enhanced paunchy national profile. The competitors stand on a raised platform behind a long table with drinks and hot dogs in buns. Water is favored, but not specified for lubrication. Condiments are permitted but rarely used. The number of dogs consumed in a ten-minute period are recorded, with the winner in XY and XX categories awarded a prized mustard-colored belt of triumph.
“How many Nathan’s Famous dogs could you buy with the Infrastructure Bill the Senate is supposed to pass without reading?” Loma looked into space, and then said calmly “Figuring at 1916 prices, that would amount to approximately 16 trillion delicious dogs.”
“But let’s be frank,” growled Rocket. “Nobody was going to deny Joey Chestnut his 14th Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest title on this summer of liberation from lock-down. He set a new world XY record, wolfing down 76 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes. The lovely Michelle Lesco relished the chance for her first XX Contest title, eating 30 3/4 dogs.”
The Interns who still had access to their parent’s Google accounts were told to search for a photo of the dynamic dog duo and came up with one:
DeMille looked up from the oatmeal in his bowl. “Were we going to talk about any of the crazy stuff going on?” “That isn’t crazy?” asked Rocket, snubbing out a Marlboro Red regular. “You have the National Teachers unions telling us racism starts in children younger than two years of age, and that they should be masked at school even if they are vaccinated. Meanwhile, they are letting in a couple hundred thousand undocumented and unvaccinated lawbreakers every month on the southern border. And then transporting them at government expense to cities across the heartland without notification?”
“Put it in one of those stories they don’t want people to read. It is too crazy.” Loma smiled and pulled a couple notes from his bag. “Having a National Hot Dog Day seems completely appropriate. And having the chance to watch a great society tear itself apart for no particular reason is a pearl beyond price.” “Or at least a top-quality hot dog. Like this one:”
“The kraut has been replaced with something that looks like kimchi. It is a fusion approach to an all-American favorite coupled- mated, actually- with the rising strength of Asia.” “No mustard?” “That could never be prohibited in the America we love.” There were several smiles of relief. It was a worthy sentiment to close the meeting, but there were a couple glances over the shoulder to see if there was anyone listening.
Copyright 2021
Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com