Socotra House LLC wants to express regret for a delay in new Footnotes to explain that we have no animus to any of the screwy ideas now festooning our public life. The disturbance in the Intern Bunkhouse was unfortunate, law enforcement was not called, due to problems with potential selective enforcement, and we wish to stress the Company’s general opposition to the suppression of lunacy. The recent problem arose when some Interns insisted that we actually believe in the lunacy.
That was a step too far for some of the kids, or a step in some direction other than linear. For today, we rely on what used to be Footnote One, which is, we support anyone’s right to think and express their belief systems. We also retain the right to tell them to stay off the property. The issue at hand was the recent disturbance at the Wi Spa out in California, the one where a bearded patron expressed the idea that despite “their” external appurtenances, “they” were actually infused with femininity, and proud to share it.
Whew. The matter quickly rose from the Footnote section to HR, bounced off Compliance and Legal and landed with a moist thud at the senior end of the Long Green Table. “So, the Interns are having trouble keeping up with the things that should be obvious- that we support all the liberties contained in the Bill of Rights, resolutely, except for a now-ancient tradition that the exposure of (there was more controversy about how to say what was disclosed) “appurtenances” had been subject to legal punishment for many years.
Both sides claimed triumph on that point, saying it demonstrated an expression of freedom for an oppressed minority, and the other saying it made the majority oppressed in the interest of something patently absurd.
Part of the problem is rooted in the triangulation of HR, Compliance and Legal. HR had deliberately structured the intern program to ensure that it looked like America. And it does, except for the decimal points for some Americans. Compliance said it was only prudent to comply with existing law, glancing over at Legal, who delivered an opinion that regardless of how stupid the State Law of California might be, the Spa who allowed “them” to enter an area previously reserved to genetic females was simply following the law. The relative probity of the law was a matter for the courts to decide.
Since the Interns are younger, their voices were louder. Looking like America, slightly more than half are genetic females. The decimal point problem was solved by having the whole group decide how to divide up the 52% of the District of Columbia who claim to be female against those few states in which those claiming to be males have a narrow majority- Alaska being the lowest at almost 48% alleged women. Being democratic, they came to a measured decision and averaged the state totals to arrive at 50-50, which seemed to be fair, and any unhappy decimals could claim to be what they want.
Compliance was OK with that, and Legal nodded, depending on what state was serving the best lunch on a Wednesday. HR was a problem, but in a definitional sense, it always is. The essential point that a simple declaration could at a stroke eliminate the careful calculus of what constitutes the America we are supposed to represent.
The youngest intern, an individual who did not complete the full indoctrination at Northern Virginia Community College, was forthright. “They” brushed some bagel debris from “their” bodice. “Come on. We don’t even know what quotation marks to put around simple words. This is about power. Considering the advances women have made to have a fair shot in society over the last generation or two, this is a way to “other” half of the population, eliminate hard-earned common-sense protections, and eliminate alternate social power sources embedded in women’s liberation.” The individual produced an image purporting to be of the bearded woman in question, who in deference to her feminine freedom had not shaved for a few days.
Chairman Socotra was briefly roused. We have to be careful around him, since he refuses to change his title to something more representative of what America looks like. He growled. “If the women don’t want other bearded women to be walking around with their appurtenances hanging out, why don’t they all just decide to be men, and to prohibit bearded women from hanging around the women’s room?”
There was silence around the table for a moment, and someone wondered why there would be two men’s rooms. But by unanimous vote, we decided that when some part of America decided to be something else in the morning, it was certainly our collective right to decide our equity and decide to be something else before lunch. Which being Wednesday, is burger day at the restaurants that have re-opened in the little town nearest Refuge Farm, and an excellent destination for lunch.
But the Chairman suggested everyone use the ambiguously labeled facilities here on The Farm before venturing out.
Copyright 2021 Vic Socotra
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