Thoughts on being stuck in doctors’ office waiting rooms with TV’s blaring

This piece’s topic during the late run up to this election year day of days is like being consigned erroneously to Hell.

By now we all can lip synch the political commercials. It does not matter knowing which party they are for or against, we all know that we’d pay any amount of money to make them stop, or possibly tase the candidate once or twice. I’d do it at least three times just to be sure they cease.

Please, sweet Baby Jesus, deliver us from this evil. Please. We’ll even buy relentlessly pushed, overpriced, four new off-brand tires, to avoid these ad-caused brain tumors.

I even thought keeping our living room wide screen on HGTV despite shiplap getting me agitated.

Some of my -ologists’s waiting rooms are on the Magnolia Network causing me to spastically dance my visits away.

Even endlessly watching business news channel’s Bitcoin is a Great Investment ads is preferable

Not so lucky — now that we’re week away,

Muting the TVs does not help. We know their voice overs by heart. Earwigs methinks.

A step in the right direction might include . . .

· All political advertisements that reference a candidate could be required by law to be done by the candidate him — or herself. No voice-overs, no b-roll black-and-white scariness. Just Joe or Jane Candidate talking about whatever it is they want to talk about.

· Spending and time limits (yeah, I know, bwahahahaha) of a Covid stimmie check and the month of October only to advertise. Anybody else or any corporations caught giving dark money or trying to advertise outside the time limits or money amounts gets executed in front of their parents and kids. Yes, I’d even apply this to teachers unions.

I know I should feel pity for the deep voiced, dramatic voice actors. This is their sole biannual BIG payday and recognize their suffer having to record ad after ad after ad after ad for random politicians across the country. Their substance abuse bills during this time of the year must be prodigious.

Maybe I should dial it back a bit and relent, since once the election is over, we’ll start anew being assaulted by the ambulance chasers of Camp Lejeune infected, victims of priest abuse, Roundup poisoning and in-a-wreck-here’s-your-check.

Yo, “Nathan” from “MoveOn,” stop texting and voice-mailing me.

Lastly, I admit that this tsunami is not a simple commentary on our election system but on the electorate and how we think and how we respond to emotional appeals. Anger works. It motivates. Fear works. It motivates.

Cute cat videos are so Facebook and TicTok that require no more than a “like” button click.

Voting correctly requires motivation.

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