The Famous Fur Bikini

I just saw some clickbait ad that said Raquel Welch will turn 80 this year in September – 80. She is still one of the most beautiful women to have ever graced the Planet Earth and for most of us, she never really got old – but here we all are. I remember well going to see One Million Years B.C. on opening week back in 1967 at the old Fairhope Theater since there were lots of rumors that the picture was going to be banned for excessive displays of female sexuality – old Bama was not ripe territory for fur bikinis back then. It was well worth the $1 price of admission, and she was a 10-year old’s wet dream of a woman. I think she had three speaking lines in the entire movie but it was the fur bikini that sealed the masturbatory deal. Wow. I think it was only Farrah Fawcett who came along 10 years later who came close to rivaling that immediate poster notoriety. Next to Jurassic Park, it is the best pre-historic themed movie ever made, not counting Clan of the Cave Bear, in which Darryl Hannah invented blow jobs.

Raquel in Lime Green – Sex Sells

So, in keeping with my eternally escapist persona and as a way to avoid the awful reality of what is transpiring in stark Darwinian terms around the world, I was up working on an older piece that I had written for Vic several months ago, and then stumbled across this awesomely bad spy-action movie that Raquel made around the same time which was called simply “Fathom” after the name of her character – only one of three female secret agent types that came out of the 60s, and by far, the best looking.

Fathom itself was a romp of campy fun shot in the south of Spain in Andalucia, with lots of urban and countryside landscapes and video vistas familiar to us who have toiled in the Bull Ring crucible of FOSIF Rota. Besides all of the revealing shots and costuming of Raquel’s matchless figure, the sights of a Spain long gone by were hypnotic. Fathom was made around the same time as my favorite Peter Seller’s movie also set in Spain (Barcelona) called “The Bobo.” It’s even more obscure and really hard to find but worth watching for its pure comedic value, and great shots of a sexy young Britt Eckland.

Yeah, it was a bad movie (both are) if you are a critic, but that was the 60s, and who really gives a fuck about that today – it was silly fun and God knows we need a lot of that now. So, here’s the plot:
“Fathom Harvill, a beautiful skydiver, is in Spain with a U.S. parachute team. She is abducted by a man called Timothy and taken to see Douglas Campbell, who says he is a Scottish agent working for NATO and wants Fathom to help him find a triggering mechanism for a nuclear weapon that has gone missing in the Mediterranean.

The device is hidden inside a figurine known as the Fire Dragon. In hot pursuit of it is an Armenian man named Serapkin who is working on behalf of Communist Chinese interests. Fathom skydives into the villa of a second man, Peter Merriwether, who has a trusted Chinese assistant Jo-May Soon, and is also searching for the figurine.
Fathom discovers that the Fire Dragon was stolen from a Far East museum by a Korean War deserter who is now being tracked by a private investigator. Campbell is one and Merriwether the other, but Fathom needs to find out for certain which is which.

After fending off a Serapkin knife attack and another from a harpoon, Fathom finds the figurine in a makeup case. She concludes that Campbell is the trustworthy one and boards a plane with Timothy and him, who promptly attempt to toss her from it. Merriwether arrives in another plane. In the confusion the bad guys fall out of the plane and Fathom decides she’s not cut out for a life of crime.”[1]

It almost reads like something out of an A.J. Tata novel, but I digress. It’s all about the T&A, after all, and Raquel was built for being that kind of action figure. You can find it on Verizon FIOS, Amazon, or YouTube I’m sure. Tune in and suspend your willing sense of disbelief – it’s a helluvalot better and more fun than contemplating the reality of the unseeable wolf we all have at our doors these days. And if you care to take the time that I know you have on your hands, then read up on Raquel’s background and what she has done in her life beyond just being hot – a pretty interesting and accomplished woman. Being incredibly good-looking is just icing on her birthday cake.

I remain your faithful servant.

[1]Source: Wikipedia.com
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