(A person who could be Dr. Blix, champion of Health, we think.)

Alert and well-seasoned readers performed their assigned tasks with alacrity and good faith yesterday. It demonstrated a triumph of editorial integrity, and one of which we are proud. Management at the Daily Socotra was informed in the early review that an incorrect caption had appeared in an otherwise well-reasoned and thoroughly vetted daily edition. Management was naturally intensely concerned at what could have been the first mistake published in the twenty-year history of the Daily Socotra. Thankfully, the matter was minor and swiftly memory-holed after swift and appropriate editorial and kinetic action.

An investigation was cursorily conducted after the truth had been revealed, and a high-level staff meeting was convened by Zoom global teleconference with key stakeholders in the information process. Consensus was rapidly achieved, as is the norm for these infrequent but vital meetings. It was conducted in English, another matter of concern, though no apparent alternate solution is currently available. Management is investigating constructive solutions, and a Sanskrit primary edition is under active discussion.

In this grave matter, blame was assigned to the most inconsequential member of the editorial team who was not summoned to provide a defense. Management imagined single solution that could accommodate the error in judgment. In the matter at hand, of course that was not a picture of the renowned Dr. Blix, national counselor on certified Public Health emergencies that appeared. It was actually an image of an upright network correspondent of the renowned CNN network. The explanation that Dr. Blix had recently been observed with her hair down was insufficient justification for the confusion in upright presentation of that day’s truth.

Only one course of action was available to the management team at present: de-platforming of the guilty, done in secret, with no public admission of failure or systemic institutional weakness.

That being decided, the model of several other reputable data management sources was adopted, as has been effectively done to the man currently claiming to be President. The answer was punishment, and the consensus was that only de-platforming would suffice. That made everyone on the team swell with pride at our unanimity, though as with all things, there was an accompanying issue. Socotra LLC has only a single platform, and it is one already crowded with true believers. That uncomfortable truth would thus require either a mass solution or the construction of another platform, one that could be used to enforce excellence and be used to hurl the rebellious to the asphalt in the back of the complex near the loading dock.

The ceremony of righteous punishment was conducted swiftly and without fanfare. The offending former member, a graduate with an advanced degree in multi-gender intersectional socialist studies, was offended all the way from the platform to the pavement. The offender showed real and verified contrition at the conclusion of impact as an ankle was held in some apparent pain.

Regrettably, being now considered a non-person, our management team decided on non-intervention with working class responders followed by a modest celebration at the Copper Fish restaurant to be conducted to honor our collective honesty, and ensure that no one would notice the original mistake.

We agreed our process was sound and we would never mention Dr. Blix again, whether her hair was in a professional knot or worn attractively at her shoulders. We have also cast a gimlet eye on our workforce, normally reliable but apparently capable of human error. The matter was discussed as a prospective agenda item supporting creation of a more robotic force. In the meantime, our remaining humans know the platform is ready and on full alert. They know not be caught on the wrong one, and the pavement is unyielding.

Management would apologize for the inconvenience caused to our global client base, but cannot recall what it might have been. Forward!

Copyright 2020 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com