Editor’s Note: Did you watch the convention last night? The magnificent spectacle of the 2020 election continues, an affirmation that the old United States is behind us now. We touched on the information campaign line-up yesterday, and while amusing, it just isn’t quite a funny as the great events unfolding before us deserve. This morning, I was tempted to analyze how it is all playing out, who the pardon was really for, and all the rest of the maneuvering. My personal favorite was when Mr. Biden, the now-official candidate for President, entered a segment hosted by his wife, Dr. Jill Biden. He introduced himself as “Joe Biden’s husband.” This is only going to get better as the election bears down. Here in Virginia, our Governor is contributing to the coming train wreck in the way he can. He announced yesterday that “other people” can make “corrections” to mail-in ballots. He didn’t specify who these people might be, or what corrections they might make. This is fantastic!

– Vic

Author’s Note: In view of the difficulty many are experiencing with plague testing, this imaginary phone conversation seems apropos.

-Marlow

Are You Positive?

Mr. Marlow, I have your test results. Looks like it’s negative.

Are you positive?

No. I’m not positive. We’re talking about you.

Ok. Are you positive I’m negative?

Are you sure you understand what I’m telling you?

Yes. I’m positive.

You’re positive?

Yes. I don’t mean to sound negative.

Good. No reason to sound negative. Let’s try to be positive about negative results.

Ok. I didn’t mean to appear negative.

Thank you. I have more people to call.

Thank you for the call. Try to be positive.

Click.

Click.

Hey, honey. I got some positive news about my test results.

(Sound of W hitting the floor after fainting).

Props to Abbott and Costello.

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