Who Brings the Donuts on Monday?

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The dawn was brilliant, the only way to describe it. Our intense blue sky was populated with puffy white wisps of the alternative. They tell us the brisk chill air is from that renegade jet steam which will be with us for a week, a cousin to the one that paralyzed us last month. But still, the sun is up earlier and lingers later, and there is promise of a Spring to come.

Despite the merry tones of morning, the editorial meeting was a shambles, though not unproductive. Our goal was to set the tone for the weekend reports that people have time to read, or would if they were working during the week. You know, avoid the modest tales with gentle mocking tone. We want to harness the ones that better reflect the enduring values of our democracy.

That is when it started. One of the older members of the staff muttered aloud that it was not a democracy, it was a constitutional republic. A hush fell over the conference room, and not even the younger staff made a move for the Krispy Kreme donuts resting on the silver tray.

The brought us around swiftly to the equity issue. The deletion of the two letters “a” and “l” from the old word was a good thing, and makes more clear the path of a just society. As the Compliance staff proudly stated, the very existence of the glazed pastries implied their shared value, with a just distribution of community property. The conversation lagged short of agreement as we noticed the donuts disappeared, almost by magic.

With no remaining victuals at issue and the coffee cooling, the standard agenda was quickly considered. We have agreed that the recent chill was a function of inevitable warming, and should maintain the current line that the world could be ending within the decade. Or without.

We further support a variety of other vital initiatives, including the major reform to elections which will suppress voter suppression by dramatically expanding participation by all sorts of people of many ages. This will bring about the continuation of the process of incorporating justice into an insensitive systematic system. Pretty good morning, we figured. Since it is likely to go on, it is only smart to be part of it.

The Compliance Section reported that author biographies have been scrubbed and many Tweets and missives have been laundered. We feel confident we will withstand any scrutiny that may be coming. That said, the Editorial staff lamented our legacy content production could be subject to misinterpretation. One particularly amusing episode in the Republic of the Philippines was raised as problematic. With no pastries remaining, the matter was resolved. The old content could continue to be issued, but now with a suitable cautionary Forward attached to match the now venerable Footnotes.

Having suitably bookended the old truths with the new ones, we are prepared to enter the weekend. Life is good, or at least it is until we figure out who to tap for donuts on Monday morning.

Copyright 2021 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com

Written by Vic Socotra

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