(The Fabulous Bettie Page in her 80s)

So I was running late, like big surprise, and realized I had to swing past the front desk and drop the Japanese slasher film in the mailbox to go back to NetFlix.
 
That would seem to be straightforward enough, but Rhonda is normally on shift there, and the few seconds it would take to hit the slot and then the stairs to the garage normally stretches into a hug, and then whatever the latest gossip is around the building.
 
I like to flirt with Rhonda- she is the kind of woman that makes you wish that temporal dysphasia was more common than it is, and you could meet people at different times in their lives.
 
I strolled out of the elevator and she was right there, along with someone else. That was unusual, and I processed the information as I dropped the red envelope with the DVD into the slot and turned my attention to the desk.
 
Rhonda was ready for a hug, and I have to say that is always a great way to start the day.
 
“What, nothing for me?” said the woman in black. I glanced over and smiled.
 
“We have not been introduced,” I said, taking her hand in mine and giving it an air kiss.
 
Rhonda said: “This is Page. She lives at the Oaks across the parking lot.”
 
At the first elevator glance, the woman was a standard-issue grandma. Grey hair, not quite bottle blue, prim glasses, severe black pantsuit. Looking at her more closely, I realized that there was great depth in those eyes.
 
Irony was there, plus mischief and a flash of something else much more primeval.
 
“And what has brought you to the Island of Misfit Toys?” I said, giving her hand back.
 
“Page is being considered for the weekend 4-to-midnight shift,” said Rhonda.
 
“I used to be a stripper,” said the woman, as if that explained everything, and in a way, I guess it did.
 
“Burlesque?” I asked, since stripping once upon a time was more of an art than a lap dance.
 
“Yes,” said Page. “On stage.”
 
“East or West coast circuits?” I asked.
 
“West coast. I liked the beaches.”
 
“What’s not to like about that,” I said, thinking of San Francisco, and the clubs in North Beach more than the sand west of Hollywood. What was the first topless place out there? Carol Doda’s Condor Club, at Broadway and Columbus? It had been a long time since I thought about that. “The City’s new Twin Peaks,” were the words on the sign over the door.

“So what brought you here?”
 
“Surgery. People don’t like to look at dancers with scars, so I had to find something else.”
 
“Some of the most interesting women I know have scars,” I said. “They have character.”
 
I was late, so I made the obligatory pleasantries and disengaged, heading for the stairs down to the garage.
 
“I hope you hire her,” I said, over my shoulder. “The place could use some character.”
 
I had the most unsettling images as I fired up the Bluesmobile. The only way I could banish them was to think of the famous pin-up girl Bettie Page, who transformed the world of modeling in seven short years in the early fifties, and then disappeared into an intensely private life.
 
Everyone has a right to that, but even in her eighties, Bettie still had that smile.
 
I had to concentrate on something else or the day was going to get drifty fast. I thought about Matt’s dynamite pot roast recipe, since it is time for the Fall cooking season, and I feel domestic this time of the year. If this doesn’t suffice to take your mind off youth and folly, I don’t know what will:
 
Matt’s Dynamite Pot Roast

Fixin’s:
 
1 3 lb chuck roast
2 lbs potatoes, cut into chunks (I found quartering Yukon Gold is best)
1 large yellow onion, quartered
3 or 4 carrots, chopped
10 – 12 button mushrooms, stems removed & rinsed
1 28oz can of crushed tomatoes
1 – 1.5 cups red wine (cheap burgundy works well)
12 – 14 oz beef broth
3 tbls flour
1 tbls corn starch
 
Spice Rub
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp cajun spices
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper (you can leave this out if it is too spicy) Salt
Pepper
 
Cookin’:
Place potatoes, carrots, onion, mushrooms, crushed tomatoes, broth, wine and
flour into slow cooker.  Stir to combine.
 
Rinse and pat dry roast.  Thoroughly coat roast with spice rub and stir any remaining spices into veggie mix.  Place roast on top of the veggies.  Cook on HIGH (the slow-cooker setting) for 7 – 8 hours.
 
Remove roast from slow cooker and place on large serving plate.  Cut into chunks or pull apart with forks.  Check consistency of gravy.  If too runny combine 1 tbs of corn starch with 1 tbs water in a small bowl.  Whisk to combine and pour into slow cooker.  Stir to combine.  Gravy should coat the back of a spoon.  Put pulled/chunked roast back in slow cooker and stir to combine.  Serve over egg noodles or rice.
 
The thing that makes this recipe is the spice rub, but that got me thinking about youth and folly again, so I guess I will just have to leave it at that. But I think you will like the pot roast. 

Copyright 2009 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com

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