OK, OK, it is probably a software glitch of some kind. It probably originated in some voice recognition program, or maybe just the “autocorrect” bug that bites me all the time.

It is not anything like the astonishingly inept roll-out of the Allegedly Affordable Care Act, and no one, to my knowledge, was actually harmed by the typo. But still, you have got to admire the accuracy of the gaffe.

“Gaffe” is Washington-speak for a horrendous event when someone- normally a politician- says something true. It is so uncommon that normally oleaginous careerists are pilloried ruthlessly. The powerful Majority Leader Senator Trent Lott said what he actually thought one time and had to resign his seat. Arguably, Mitt’s 47% comment might have cost him some critical momentum in what was a fairly tight race. And of course, our Vice President has a positive penchant for them, but everyone loves crazy Uncle Joe, the life of the party.

The Beeb doubtless was going for something different- I would hope it is the Chinese calendar’s Year of the Horse. That symbol replaced the old Year of the Snake at Chinese New Year last Friday.

Listening to the news of the latest storm that is bearing down on us, I think I would prefer being a snake to a horse. They are predicting freezing rain that will glaze the roads and sidewalks and burden the power lines and maybe leave us completely in the dark. The last winter that offered fun like this was in the late eighties- I forget which year- but there were many at the Pentagon in casts who refused to stay indoors to do their physical training and fell on the ice-slick pavement, breaking limbs.

Out in Fairfax County, it was possible to lace up your skates on the porch and skate across the lawn to the sidewalk and then skate down to the lake.

It was amazing. I am hoping that is not what is going to happen, but you never can tell. So forgive me for a little schadenfreude at the expense of the British Broadcasting Corporation this morning.

I have become enamored of horses lately, and it is not because of that heartwarming Budwieser commercial with the Clydesdale and the golden Labrador puppy. You know the cool thing about people born in the year of the horse: they make constant efforts in self improvement, and could often be seen in the Self Help section at Borders, back when book stores still existed somewhere other than Amazon.

According to Chinese lore, Horse people tend to be “energetic, bright, warm-hearted, intelligent and able.” They are clever, kind to others, and like to join in venture careers. Although they sometimes talk too much, they are cheerful, perceptive, talented, earthy but stubborn, and like the stimulation of crowd and public entertainment.

Here in Washington, of course, it is always the Year of the Snake, even if the players may come from other birth years. And I think the Beeb had it right- I have no opinion on the veracity of the Chinese calendar. But year of the Whores is certainly appropriate.

I am not going to launch off on some tirade about how career politicians share many of the same attributes as the practitioners of the Oldest Profession. As someone who has spent altogether too much time around the capital, I am in cheerful agreement with the assessment, and am a bit of a whore myself. It is thoroughly bi-partisan and simply the way the game is played here.

My favorite Member of Congress was a progressive Democrat, and I contributed real money to his abortive campaign for President. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if he had better parlayed his ethnic background into a position of real power, rather than getting nailed for some garden variety corruption back in his home state where he was the consolation Governor.

Actually, it occurs to me that no one in their right minds would actually go into politics anymore. What they have to do to generate the money to manage the campaigns makes prostitution seem positively honorable. And in fact, why should we taint a whole class of workers with something that has a negative connotation?

I much prefer the term “Tantric Engineer.” So, for the record, let’s correct the Beeb’s typo to reflect that more accurate and elegant phrase. I am sure people around the world will celebrate the Year of the Tantric Engineers.

Of course, people in the Year of the Snake had something going for them, and since it is always that year in DC, we can take advantage of it. Did you ever see a snake in a cast caused by falling on the ice?

Copyright 2014 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
Twitter: @jayare303