(1969 Pontiac GTO Judge, named for the comic mantra on the Rowen & Martin Laugh-In television variety show. Photo Pontiac Motor Division. RIP).

OK- too strange out there, between the Ebola outbreak and politics as usual. There are convoys of armored limousines all over town and anyone with a brain is staying away from the District while the various heads of state are motoring about, clogging the streets with roadblocks and security checkpoints.

The AMC Spirit was a last hurrah for me and the brand. Great little ride. My brother’s last AMC was the bizarre Pacer, which evoked the memories of Dad’s early renderings:

Judge for yourself:

The real Judge wrote me over the weekend with some recollections of his car days. I had intended to write about my days as a family man and Fleet owner of truly boring automobiles- it started with one of the last cool AMC vehicles that came with my new bride- an AMC Spirit- that we shipped to Honolulu when the Delta 88 Royale battle-cruiser stayed in the warehouse Up North on blocks to save the tires. I ran the gas tank to “empty” and choked out the carb on the 170-net-horsepower 350 cubic inch V-8 engine with a blast of Diethyl ether, which in addition to being useful as a starter fluid, has a long history as a medical anesthetic.

I figured good for us, good for the Royale. I eventually drove that car again, and into the ground, but the new and growing family required affordable and sensible cars, and I had to put the automotive passion aside for a couple decades. In the mix of marital vehicles was a VW Rabbit, a VW Beetle convertible, a vast used Buick station wagon, a Taurus wagon, a Mercury Villager mini-van, and a peppy little Dodge Shadow, a used family Caddie DeVille diesel, and finally the car that survived the marriage, a Chrysler Sebring convertible.

Some of the cars were interesting, most were not. So they are going to get short shrift, except to note that I got used to trying to get 100K miles out of the rides, and also got used to sitting around Dealer maintenance shops.

So we are not going to let the muscle era go just yet. The Judge wrote me with some memories and a teaser for something I might really want to own. He started out with a Pontiac, which reminded me that our cars did not have to be in motion to be complete entertainment venues:

“Vroom,” he started. “We all have the car memories, mine: (1) getting the goodies in a 1964 GTO convertible that belonged to the rich guy who left it parked outside the party…no gasoline was burned in the process (2) the family Ford Falcon which had absolutely the best door latch for opening beer bottles (Goebel 22 in GIQ’s…a Michigan legend). At a grasser (a term you Detroit guys may or may not know) in Ingham County, if your car couldn’t open the bottle, you were SOL. I frigging hate getting so old.”

We did some back and forth on the issues- I fondly remember the Great Imperial Quart bottles that Goebel beer came in- more ounces for the buck was important in high school and college- and “Grasser” used to be a term for parking out in someone’s field and getting shit-faced on alcohol, not “grass.” Strictly speaking, half barrels of draft beer were also fun, but regardless of whether you were in Ingham or Oakland County, cars were how you got to the field to drink.

Out in the wilds of Troy “City of Tomorrow Today!” there was a field we liked. It had a crater of moderate dimension on it which we attempted to fill up with beer cans, which may today still be an aluminum deposit under the SS Kresge World headquarters when it needed one.

We got there via Woodward Avenue to Big Beaver, by the way, and it was not far from the Fox and Hounds road house and the site where the Bloomfield cops nailed me in Dick’s Charger.

Which brings me around to the tantalizing link that the Judge sent to the most remarkable thing I have seen come out of Detroit since the Dodge Viper. Muscle cars dead? Electric cars and hybrids the way of the future?

Pish Posh. Check this out about the Dodge Challenger Hellcat, coming to a dealer near you soon:

“No car guy has an excuse to stay flaccid with this strapped to his ass. MSRP, though, near $60K might make it an expensive fling…but just think of the Prius drivers you can piss off:”

http://www.motortrend.com/roadtests/coupes/1407_2015_dodge_challenger_srt_hellcat_first_drive/

The Hellcat model comes with a 6.2-liter supercharged V-8 making 707 hp and 650 lb-ft of torque and do 0-60 mph in 4.1 seconds with quarter mile E/Ts of 11.2 seconds on the quarter mile with street tires (Pirelli P Zero is standard).

The introduction of the hellcat makes me think that:

1. Car people still exist.

2. There could be hope for America yet.

Copyright 2014 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
Twitter: @jayare303