(Lobby poster in Socialist Realist style promoting the new Seth Rogan film which apparently irritated some people. The Sony Pouters Corporation has the copyright on that, just like they did everything else they owned. Image Sony Pictures).

I had one of the new hundred dollar bills in my wallet and paid for lunch with it. It was a Thai place, and the staff was pleasant and the food was delicious. My former co-worker had not seen one, all fancy with metallic strip and see-through portraits and other new security features

I mentioned that the c-note is the most often counterfeited currency on earth, and that there was a special unit of the army in North Korea that specialized in producing them as an additional source of income for the Hermit Kingdom.

The new bill is pretty flashy, though it still features a picture of Ben Franklin. The new bills have all sorts of unique features, and will doubtless cause some minor headaches until the Koreans figure it out. That topic naturally led to a discussion of the remarkable Sony Pictures hacking.

“They can’t be sure it is the Northerners who are responsible, though some of the code used to penetrate the firewalls seems to have components of the Korean language,” I said. “Attribution, as you know, is the most difficult aspect of cyber operations. It is possible that the attack was the work of an insider- in fact, I suspect that like the StuxNet worm that penetrated the stand-alone control systems of the Iranian uranium enrichment centrifuges it had a human intelligent component. But the scope and destructive nature of the massive data breach suggests a malicious intent with state backing in resources.”

“Didn’t the Koreans demand that the President stop the release of that movie?” asked my pal.

“Yeah, and I think the release of Seth Rogan’s film “The Interview” is the proximate cause,” I said. “The premise of the movie is that a couple goof-ball journalists get an exclusive the CIA tries to use it as an opportunity to assassinate Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un. There has got to be a connection.”

“The scope of the attack was breathtaking, literally. Way beyond those idiotic e-mails about what sorts of movies President Obama would like to see.”

“No shit. They got everything: personal information on movie stars, payroll information, social security numbers, the intellectual property contained in five new theatrical productions. Those were passed directly to the black market film distributors. Then, to add insult to injury, Sony’s PSP 3 game console network was hi-jacked and used to distribute the stuff all over the web.”

“What did Sony think was gong to happen when you mess with the most secretive and paranoid government in the world?”

“I think like a lot us, we assume that our computer security people are on the case.”

“Even after what happened to Home Depot and Target and Chase?”

“Yeah. Fool’s paradise. But I heard it was Anonymous, or some group called the Guardians of Peace, and they are hacking for revenge. There was a guy who was selling jailbreaks for PSP 3 but got caught by Sony and he got sued. Now they are doing something like operation revenge.”

“Like I said, attribution is a hard problem. They could also be taking credit for something done by a nation-state with a big chip on their shoulder.”

“You would think Cybercommand or NSA would have provided some strategic warning to Sony security after the DPRK demanded that the US Government do something to stop the release of the picture.”

“That is precisely the problem with all this. The private sector is where all the cyber infrastructure resides, and the Government has no authority. And when the companies get hacked, the last thing they want to talk about their vulnerabilities.”

“Yeah, but I heard it was kinetic now.. The Guardians said they were going to hit the theaters where the movie was going to paly and they cancelled the premier, and Rogen and Franco have clammed up and are giving no interviews.”

“Well, getting threatened with death can have a chilling affect on a promotional tour, I am sure.”

“No shit. This has a level of malevolence that is pretty striking, which is why I think the Koreans are behind it. The massive data breaches at Chase nailed 75 million consumers, probably including the both of us. They keep it quiet since those hackers have a commercial incentive to keep the information to themselves and sell it to third-party scammers.”

“We seem to be in a sort of post-national environment that we don’t fully understand.”

“Well, I would be surprised if anyone over the age of 30 really understands it. It is the ultimate in geek-dom.”

“Yeah, but geeks with our credit cards.”

“Don’t use cards.”

“Yeah, but when you go to the bank to get your cash there might not be anything there.”

“Ugh. I am glad I got change back from the Franklin.”

“Yeah,” said my pal. “We might be needing it.”

“What you mean “we,” Kimo Sabe? I am going to put it aside for a trip to Cuba”

“Cuba? Shoot, we can’t travel to Cuba. They are as loony as the Koreans.”

“We tried to kill Castro a few times. Everyone is entitled to a little paranoia, you know?”

Copyright 2014 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
Twitter: @jayare303