(The Madison. Photo MRIS 2001).

The Madison Retirement Condos in the heart of Ballston * Perfect for seniors 55+, seeking elegant lifestyle that includes delicious meals, housekeeping, transportation, diverse program of events and activities, terrific community * Monthly service fee (not optional) of $2640 covers these amenities and much more. Call for appointment to see this move-in condition residence at The Madison. *

Raven and Big Mama needed help in the last year and a half of their lives. It was becoming inevitable, but that moment when we had to act was a long time coming. The weekends when the phone was off the hook and we had to call around from Alaska and Arizona and Virginia to find out if they were OK.

We tried setting up surveillance cameras to enable us to see the dining room via internet, feeling queasy about whether to put one in the inner sanctum where they retreated to their bed. Annook was there one time, nearing the end, and heard a bumping sound. When she came up from the basement apartment, she found Big Mama trying to lift Raven from where he had fallen as she was seated on a chair. Each time she tried to lift him, his head hit the edge of the chair and down he would go again.

Thump. Pause. Thump. Pause. Thump.

That experience resulted directly in the decision to relocate them to Potemkin Village, an “independent living facility” across town.

It was nothing of the sort- their independence was effectively over, and we started down the mercifully brief slippery slope.

That was not the case with Mac. He made his decision to leave the family home in North Arlington and bought a condo at The Madison. That was the key difference between his path and that of Raven and Big Mama. They were renters. Mac was an owner in the assisted-living facility, and that was a point of pride for him.

He did not need the help, though the prepared meals (he commented that the quality went down over time, though on the occasions we joined him seemed fine) and having a concierge was useful. He had family in town, he had his sleek Jag, and he had a wide circle of friends.

I went over with David the other evening to document the car and the condo, the last remaining issues at The Madison. I stopped at Willow first, of course, and the proximity of the restaurant to the assisted living complex was one of the premium features of the place.

He had a two-bedroom, two bath unit with a balcony. After looking at the car, David and I took the elevator up to the 17th floor and walked around the corridor to his unit.

I was stunned. When Mac was alive, he had a couple work-stations set up. One was just inside the door, and had clippings and books that he poured through. The obits were the first priority for him in the Washington Post. It was a sort of validation to the idea that he was here and they weren’t. The second bedroom was the office, with his computer and framed prints and shadow box with his military decorations.

The couch was in the main room, across from the television. I never saw him use the balcony.

“Dave,” I said, “this is beautiful, but there is nothing left of his.”

Dave made a sweeping gesture. “It is all fake. Well, not fake, it is set up to look its best. None of the furniture or art is ours. It belongs to the listing agency.”

“So, this is just for show?”

Dave nodded. “Yep. Looks good, though, doesn’t it?”

I agreed and started snapping pictures.

(This was here Mac clipped the obits and kept files ready to go.)

(Kitchen. He always had a bottle of crisp white wine for our Tuesday meetings.)

(Plenty of space in the Walk In Closet).

(Master bath with assisting hand rails.)

(You don’t have to do your own laundry at The Madison, but you can.)

It is assisted living at its finest. I am happy to note that there was no sadness in the place. Maybe the rented furniture helped. It certainly helped me- he really is gone.

Closure.

Copyright 2013 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com