I don’t know about you, but I have a Facebook page. I am not sure why. I don’t do Mafia Wars or Treasure Isle, which is challenging old favorites like Bejeweled Blitz and Happy Pets for great ways to waste time.
 
I remember when my younger boy told me about it- he was at Enormous State University at the time- and the social-networking thing was spreading like wildfire at the time.
 
There were a couple competing systems at the time. “My Space” was one of them. I recall reading about it when the New York Times picked up on it, and there was an interactive link to it. I signed up and never did anything about it. I was never quite sure what it was for. Then came “Linked In,” and a couple other professional networking tools that I duly signed up for, since it seemed like it was current and hip and a tool to move forward in the fast-paced world of Beltway Banditry.
 
I have discovered to my horror that it is actually an embarrassment. One allegedly professional site mines the address book on the computer to send invitations to anyone who is unfortunate enough to be there, and apparently bugs the recipients periodically to remind them that I am dying to be in their network, even if I don’t actually recall ever having asked.
 
One very senior acquaintance, who is probably about as computer savvy as I am, wrote me in exasperation one time. He told me how busy he was and asking that I cease and desist from bothering him.
 
I was appalled, and had to write a contrite apology for the algorithm I had unwittingly set in motion.
 
I did eventually find a use for social networking, though. Facebook has apparently won the networking wars. More and more applications come with it; I am able to publish photos from my computer to the central server. As a non-profit editor, I find it useful to be able to dump a hundred photos to the page and share them with the few people in the world who might find them of interest.
 
It is cool technology.
 
With the added capabilities comes new opportunities for awkwardness. I discovered that the software busily is working in the background, doing things for you. I got a note from a former flame asked why another former flame had been suggested to her as a potential Facebook friend. I was at a loss to explain the workings of the software, except to write a lame apology that it seemed sort of embarrassing.
 
I heard on the radio that couples are now sharing the internal workings of their relationships on Facebook, which apparently sends out notifications to all their friends that recent developments have been posted. The whole thing makes me uncomfortable, and challenges the entire notion of privacy.
 
I am sure you know all the stuff you can post to your page, and reveal all the pseudo-friends you have collected in the digital world. There is a block for just about everything; birthday, phone number, the things you like and those you don’t.
 
There is one for your relationship status, too. That apparently is the one couples use to go after one another.
 
When I set mine up, I chose the “it’s complicated” box, since that is the way it appeared to me at the time. Relationships are a challenge, and going from being one thing to another thing is one of the tougher things in life.
 
I have discovered, with some help from a friend, that it is not at all complicated. I am “single.” I was not really happy about it, but life goes on and we all have to move on. I happened to be summoned to the page by the notification from a casual pal that read:
 
“Howdy friend! How’d you like to be neighbors? Come join me in FarmVille, where you can grow delicious fruits and vegetables on your very own farm!”
 
Hell, I have my own farm already, and I think it is real. I clicked away from the invitation, and saw the information about me in the profile. Shoot, I thought. It is not complicated at all.
 
I am single. I updated the status on the page, set the privacy status to be limited to the couple hundred close friends I share this crap with and moved on.
 
Copyright 2010 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
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