I have a homework assignment. It involves tracking the cost of living, winter mean temperature ranges, and proximity to military facilities that have health, commissary, Class Six and PX stores.

I mentioned before that if this winter shapes up to be like the last one, I intend to spent it elsewhere.

I am not sure where. As you know, I adore Key West. I like the people, the places, the history and the social culture. I am not completely convinced that my personality is not perilously close to being in complete accord with the place- which could lead to The Chief Petty Officer Syndrome.

You perhaps have heard of it. The crusty old chief looks around at retirement, thinks about the cheapest, most fun port he ever visited, and decides to retire in Subic Bay, Republic of the Philippines.

There he gets a lavish place to live at ridiculously low prices, and his modest retirement goes a long way to provide attractive women to date, cold beer in vast quantities at the Fleet Reserve, and a life expectancy that is measured in months rather than years.

I am not saying that would happen to me in Key West, but I will aver that there is no place I have not felt more comfortable in ordering a drink before noon. So I may defer the winter there, or actually just commit to it.

I am obligated to conduct the due-diligence process though, and there were some intriguing options along the Carolina Coast that I wanted to explore on the drive to the Keys. My correspondent in Cajun Country commented: “South Carolina tracks favorably with the Gulf Coast for low cost of living, so I guess you can’t go wrong.

“Climate-wise, the South Carolina Coast is a bit colder than Gulf by maybe 5 degrees or so on the average temperature, but still, the January average (average of high and low) is above 45 F. Mississippi Gulf Coast about 54 F.”

“Typical January high on Hilton Head 56 F, while the coast from Bay St. Louis, MS, to Biloxi is 62 F. Southeast Louisiana, south of Lake Pontchartrain, runs about 2 to 3 F higher than Miss. due to lake effect.”

“But the most livable spot is the New Orleans Metro area. Of course it has the crime and traffic problems common to all large cities. Still, if you pick your neighborhood carefully many retirees are very happy in the Crescent City metropolitan area.”

I took a look at the map. The Mississippi Gulf Coast runs about 65 miles east (Bay St. Louis) to West (Biloxi / Pascagoula) Extreme East and West ends are semi-wilderness,

My pal continued his travelogue on the Redneck Riviera: “The cities, villages and towns are about 30 miles from Bay St. Louis to Pascagoula, U.S.Hwy 90 (speed limit usually about 45 mph. It’s like a big beach front boulevard, rather than a “highway” that connects all into one elongated beach front community.”

“If you are in a hurry, you can jump up to the I-10 and by pass the beach at 70 mph and drop down on your destination but typically you’ll travel a good 6 miles father and the ride isn’t as pleasant as poking along the beach at 45 mph and traffic even on peak season weekends is rarely anything to contend with.”

“The military installations are just a few blocks off the beach, lots of shopping including the regions biggest mall are on the beach. When we last had recreational housing there we rarely saw any reason to not take the beach road. The beach road makes every errand a scenic drive.”

“Bay St. Louis and Pass Christian are two of the best places on the eastern end. You might find some real deals in Long Beach but the elevation is very low near the beach. Bay St. Louis and the Pass were hit hard by Katrina but have modest bluffs down on the beach. Some of the homes on the highest points escaped damage.”

“From either Pass Christian or Bay St. Louis you can explore Metairie as an an easy day trip. Also the “North Shore” settlements of St. Tammany Parish across the lake from Metairie/New Orleans are an easy day trip to explore Mandeville, Madisonville, and scenic somewhat waspy and a bit inland Covington. If you come in January and you stay a couple of weeks you will see some of the best and worse of our only full “winter” month.

“That’s important. We are expecting below normal temperatures this winter but that still means that there are good golfing, sailing, outdoor tennis days as well as some cloudy rainy chilly days.”

“We may also see some 20-or-30 year record events like a snow dusting since the Atlantic has started its 30-year surface temperature inversion and we’ve been told to expect a return to the temperature regime of 1945-75. In that time frame, we still averaged 63-43 in New Orleans, but made the average with a few 80-degree days in January interspersed with some record cold.”

“Between 1945 -75 the Central Gulf experienced at least 6 snow dustings, and a single one-inch snow fall. Twice in the 60s we had two periods of daytime subfreezing temps lasting nearly 48 hours each. By contrast prior to last years record cold we had about 3 winters completely frost free”.

“What I’m driving at is that you need to experience the climate at its worse to avoid buyer’s remorse. This is a palm tree-lined semi tropical coast but “semi” means long hot tropical summers a long slowly descending Fall that can bring some fall like weather, peaks out in January and then melds into a rapidly warming spring with summer again setting in about April.”

I wrote my pal back immediately to thank him, and tell him I have some homework to do. I think it is important to conduct the complete due-diligence process. I will not include the Republic of the Philippines in the search for all the logical reasons. Key West is close enough.

I think I will start right after Thanksgiving, you know?

Copyright 2014 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
Twitter: @jayare303