Leap Day
(The Mittster takes our home state. Screen capture CNN.)
My fellow citizens, it is leap day in this Leap Year, only the 15th of these bonus days I have seen in my life. That is unlike all the other days, of which I have 60 or more in my personal log-book. There are many more elections than that, of course, since they happen with depressing regularity all over the country.
The reports from Michigan this morning are that the Mittster dunked the Fundamentalist by a few points, and touched him out in Arizona as well. That will not stop the debate, nor the efforts of the evangelical wing of the GOP to drag us kicking and screaming into the 19th Century.
You have to forgive me- the whole thing makes me dyspeptic. The President has lost command of his consonants and popped up in Detroit to talk to the UAW, an organization that protected me on the assembly line years ago at Local 206. You can see Mr. Obama’s remarks at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=il6KmXwZO2o&feature=youtu.be&noredirect=1 <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=il6KmXwZO2o&feature=youtu.be&noredirect=1>
(Mr. Obama addresses the UAW in Detroit. Screen capture CNN.)
My concern is how his diction changes, depending on the audience he is addressing. The President asked us to “give it up” for Bob King, and that the best damn Transportation Secretary ever, Ray LaHood, was in the house. I would willingly do the former and fully acknowledge the later, but my concern here is where the language is going in this campaign.
If someone offered up a place to contribute to providing some hard “g’s” to the Democratic National Committee to restore the word “going” from its current “gonna” I would be much obliged. This campaign has months and months to go- not fifteen, thankfully, but too many. Please, let’s speak English.
As diverting as the primaries and the Presidential politics were this week, the best campaign news came out of Russia. Mr. Putin has a couple things going on. With his wealth of oil and gas to export, when prices go above $107 a barrel, Mr. Putin has the resources to make mischief.
Take Syria. Please.
That was, at least the contention of a colleague of mine from the last spike in oil prices. Now, Mr. Putin does not look so invulnerable. The people of Moscow and elsewhere are gingerly trying out the trappings of democracy in street protests, and obviously strong measures were called for.
(The Eyes Have It. Ya gotta trust a guy like this, just like George Bush did. Photo courtesy AFP.)
Seriously, though, Adam Osmayev, the Chechen ringleader, reportedly now has an unfortunate ailment that has caused the nails of the fingers and toes to drop away, and burns to appear around the genitals.
Adam confessed with sincere remorse to planning the assassination on the orders of Doku Umarov, the emir of the Islamist insurgency in the once break-away republic. Or an invisible seven-foot tall rabbit, whom Adam also referenced.
While the timing of the revelation by Kremlin-controlled media has been seen as an electoral ploy to boost Mr. Putin’s image as a guarantor of stability, battling shadowy foreign forces and seven-foot tall invisible rabbits in the final week before the election, Putin is expected to win. Or the Rabbit.
The plot was exposed after a blast in Odessa on 04 February, which was initially thought to be a domestic gas explosion. Experts remind us that spontaneous detonations of human flatulence are not uncommon in the region due to local dietary habits.
The only way our domestic campaign for the White House could get more surreal would be if we could import the Rabbit in time for Easter.
Doku Umarov says the Rabbit stands for civil liberty and sound fiscal policy. I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny, but it sounds like a policy on which I could leap.
Copyright 2012 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
