Editor’s Note: In keeping with the spirit of our new Emergency Health measures, we have recognized the distinct changes required in multiple areas of Socotra House Publications. In order to remain vigilant and compliant, we have hired several of the indigent people hanging around the loading dock to augment our Compliance Staff. For those who subscribe to the glossy print version of our fine (and compliant!) product line, there may be some minor dislocation in standard distribution. All principal writers have been notified of their inherent fragility and social mis-training, and compliant bios are in formation now. We welcome the opportunity to take a lead among specialized vanity publishers in ensuring we stay firmly ahead of social pressures expected to evolve in the coming weeks and months.

– Vic

Author’s Note: Vic, Today’s piece I earlier addressed to you and SH’s authors was one of several earlier ones I drafted on our bios.

Below is one that appeared to me this AM as I re-read the Disney Corporation’s announcement on the Muppets. IFCBI still.

-Marlow

Identities — My New Drug

I’ve been rethinking my SH bio notes. Again. Maybe to attract a younger, hipper and larger demo I should include things like

Activist healer and wheeler-dealer
Ecosexual
Pronouns — variable
Racial identities — special of the month club member
Selfish (or is it selfless) yet brave
Read my stuff, dammit

These tweaks would drive up my followership from its current negative numbers and garner me a number of bot-generated likes alone.

I also feel that I should adopt an alternative name that includes only pictographs and numbers. That way I could select my true names once I discover my one truest and highest self. FYI finalists include Mayor McCheese and The Hamburglar.

With these new identifiers, I will be ready to join social media platforms while immediately demanding they provide us all mute buttons on all those who opinions, thoughts and feelings we disagree with now and later so they may be silenced in advance to prevent whatever micro aggression they might inflict on us.

Knowing that I have much woking to do I shall endeavor to champion the tearing down of all buildings over 9 stories tall since anything larger is a capitalist oppressor sign of male phallic dominance — large erections to the heavens so to speak.

In fact, SH should start a regular campaign to obliterate all toxic male sexist signs from our cities to include destruction of draw bridges whose multiple daily raisings causes 1000s of triggering across all pronoun types. We should also consider adopting a new more inclusive noun to call our postings.

I must stop now – W has just signaled that I am quite late in taking today’s happy pills.

PS Mary Poppins – cultural appropriator in blackface? Consider the evidence:

PPS Tomorrow, gentle readers, we shall review and revile the horrors of the racist past and present of the Muppets.

PPPS Be on the lookout for my new book — “Free Speech & Other Whitey Oppressor Things” Be advised that straight white folks will not have my permission to buy or read it.

PPPPS I am working feverishly on a review of Santa Claus’s true self as a symbol of white patriarchy.
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