Life & Island Times: Life by the Numbers

Editor’s Note: This just in from Marlow in his Coastal Empire!

– Vic

Thus far during my life I have

put on and taken off my underwear at least 26,500 times
had ~7.9 million heart beats
a FICO score > 825
0 parole or inmate numbers that I know of
participated in disbarring 2 lawyers
ridden > 300,000 miles on various motorcycles
had 5 passports
lived in 18 houses
had 7 different employee numbers
worn at least 7 different personal security badges
cursed too many times to count accurately
sampled northward of 4500 bottles of wine
had 2 daughters, 1 stepson, and 3 grand children
been infinitely lucky to have W in my life; in bowling terms, she’s the 265 to my 217
had cards from 18 credit card companies
had 8 library cards
never had a winning lottery ticket
visited 16 countries
seen 3 conflicts during my military service
way too many online accounts and way too few unique passwords
always split aces playing casino blackjack and won close to 60% of those hands
missed 100% of my departed friends
always liked Beethoven’s 9th symphony
had an infinity of good times and moments
been stunned by man’s infinite capacity for stupidity
understood from an early age that 99 percent of all statistics only tell 49 percent of the story
understood that BS at the speed of light is still BS (an iron clad rule of the internet and the pre-internet intelligence world)
never played my stereo systems at 9 — always dialed them to volume level 10
seen the truth of the “figures lie and liars figure” proposition more times than I care to admit
1 brother who successfully survived living 10 years in apartment 1313 in a Chicago high rise
never worn a digital watch
lived most of my working life not with 8 hour, 5 day per week, 9-5 jobs but 10, 12 and 14 hour per day, 6 or more days per week ones; this put me in abiding contact with the deeper realities and actualities of life; yet I am finding that living until you die is hard work too
never trusted the weirdly suspicious and solitary prime numbers who are just too special to hang out with ordinary numbers; they’re sorta like gurus and self-appointed lower case g gods and hucksters
racked up more assists than points scored during the game of life
always liked my 18th birthday best — could finally legally drink 3.2 beer, vote, join the military, find my own way — all without parental permission
enjoyed late night hours after 11 PM here in the Empire, sometimes pouring myself and W a glass of wine while sitting out in the side garden — with the moonlight flooding in and the sounds of the city — people’s front porch music and conversation, automobiles, curses, the occasional gunfire, dogs barking, cats meowing, motorcycles rumbling, police sirens screaming . . . reaffirming that we are all in this together

Lucky I’m sane after all I’ve been through
Sitting still in this heat, just trying to stay cool
I can’t complain but sometimes I still do
Life’s been good to me so far

-Marlow

PS Some of us older ones say that people are usually in reality off a bit worse than in our numbers. If true, perhaps it’s poetic justice.

Copyright 2022 My Aisle Seat
www.vicsocotra.com

Written by Vic Socotra