Gentle Readers,

Before we get started, the wonderful author Val Ormand is reprising some old Socotra bits from the mini-series “Boondoggle” on her web site: http://believinginhorses.com/blog/2014/01/09/boondoggle 

Check that for diversion, and check her books and activities. She is someone special!

Vic

I confess that as jaded as I have been about the current state of politics, I am left stunned this morning.

The topics at hand include the jobs numbers, and the pleasant fiction that the worst numbers in years are reflected by a lowering of the unemployment rate initially convinced me I had wandered into Wonderland, or perhaps a better, though less classical, reference might be one from DC Comics, where the Man of Steel’s nemesis was an imp from the 5th Dimension named Mister Mxyztplk.

I recall the imp from the Golden Age of comix. Not being bound by our physical laws, Mxyztplk can do things that seem to be magical in the world, just like Governor Christie or Attorney General Holder.

Honestly, the cavalcade of impossible things we are supposed to believe before breakfast is enough to make me choke on my eggs.

We just did the “it’s colder because it is warmer” thing with the Arctic Vortex. How much longer are we supposed to nod, and say “Well, of course. That makes perfect sense?”

Then the idea that super-sized Governor of the Garden State (and current GOP front runner) had absolutely no knowledge of a prank that tied up the busiest traveled bridge in America, condemning thousands to wasted time, endless irritation and expended gasoline. This is oppression of the highest order- the Government run amok as it appears to be everywhere.

Someone at HHS had got to be relieved that no one has talked about the Department’s train wreck of malaprops in a few days. It must be nice to be off the front page for a change. You know, the “cheaper, keep your plan and Doctor” sort of nonsense. It has caused me to evaluate my thesis that the only way to explain current events is to harness the power of Magical Thinking.

It is more serious than this. We may have entire components of our government being run by malicious imps from the 5th Dimension.

The AG is reported to have scoured the Department of Justice, apparently exhausted after investigating himself for tapping the phones of the Associated Press and indicting journalist Steve Rosen, to identify a Federal Attorney to conduct the investigation of the IRS for targeting citizen groups. Apparently only trial attorney Barbara Bosserman was available. And since she gave less than $10,000 to the Obama Campaigns, she can be certain to be impartial.

Then, on the same day, former NAACP Legal Defense Official Debo P. Adegbile was nominated to head the DOJ Civil Rights Division to replace Tom Perez, who moved on to become Secretary of Labor. Mr. Adegbile has an impressive resume which includes worked tireless efforts to free a man named Mumia Abu-Jamal from prison. As part of the celebrity campaign, Mr. Abu-Jamal’s 1981 death sentence for putting five rounds into Philadelphia cop Daniel Faulkner was set aside, though his life-without-parole was sustained by the courts up to the Supremes and back down again.

The only explanation I can come up that links the myriad of events goes far beyond Magical Thinking. I am convinced now that the Fifth Dimension- not the famed pop band- is responsible.

For example, in his first appearance in DC Comcs, Mr. Mxyztplk wreaked havoc across Metropolis just as profound as the lane closures on the George Washington Bridge. He pulled all sorts of pranks, first pretending to be a traffic victim- near a major bridge. Coincidence?

I think not.

When Superman arrives on the scene, he finds his worldview under direct assault. Thinking Mxyztplk had hurled himself to his death, he is flummoxed by the fact that the imp can fly. When Mxyztplk appears unharmed, an astonished Superman sputters “I-I thought I was the only man who could fly!!”

Not so. All sorts of magical things are possible. The imp’s only weakness is that he cannot stand being ridiculed- he a particularly thin-skinned variety, sort of like Press Secretary Jay Carney. The key- and this is what convinces me that my thesis is correct- is that he can only be banished if he says or spells his name backwards. The consequences of doing so are involuntary transition back to his home world for a minimum stay of ninety days in the dimensional hole.

It is clear that the Imp has learned a lot since the Golden Age. Has it occurred to us that everything is named backwards these days? Affordable Care? Department of Justice? Garden State?

Anyway,, I was wondering if it might work the other way. If our universe is becoming increasingly like the Fifth Dimension, maybe that one is actually getting normal. The only way to test it would be to slowly spell my name backwards. If it works, I will see you again in 90 days when all this will be cleared up, I am sure. Let’s see: A-R-T-O-C-O-S-C-I-…….

Poof.

Copyright 2014 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com
Twitter: @jayare303