OK, it is a little warmer out on the balcony this morning. The previous cold hanging over us had artificially extended the holiday regime (for some) all the way from Thanksgiving through the Epiphany, with a last surge to commemorate the legacy of Dr. King. That required libations from the Belmont Farm Distillery in Culpeper. Accordingly, some of us were a little worse for seasonal wear. It is clearly time to get with the calendar and move forward.

That impulse had lent a certain urgency to the morning Production Meeting of the Socotra House Writer’s Section. We are a topical group of independent contractors whose various opinions can be disavowed in order to protect the Chairman’s company from Article 88 violations, and the Legal Section had recommended going back to the Cook Book project we had been working on with the late Jinny Martin. There was nothing overtly political or partisan in that effort. Except of course there was. The theme of that book had been inspired by an effort of someone at CIA when one of us was working there. It was proudly displayed in the little gift shop in the fiercely stark formal lobby of the Original Headquarters Building in Langely.

There was confusion, of course. There are several cookbooks issued not by our friends at Langley, but by the Culinary Institute of America (CIA). So, there was some sorting required. The CIA book from Langley didn’t quite hit the mark we were looking for when we talked to Jinny about developing her cook book. Jinny’s experience, and that of some of her surviving pals, had been the challenge of marrying someone and getting assignments to unexpected overseas posts. There, in addition to preparing meals for entertainment, they were expected to understand the Essential Elements of Information held by guests on which a spouse was expected to collect. The reports filed were often joint household projects.

So, this morning, the conversation veered wildly between the astonishing amount of money we have been informed we owe and a tasty Michigan dish imported from Cornish miners, also assigned to an unexpected overseas post in the Upper Peninsula of the Wolverine State. We understand that. The Debt thing is something we don’t.

There was a report that our individual shares of the US National Debt is about $61,535.00. We would be happy to just pay it off, although we had to charter an independent study on how much petroleum and ammunition it would require to quickly round it up. That of course led to another and briefer discussion on how we could be running a system that simply has “chats” at an imaginary National Breakfast Table and decides to just charge some more stuff on the family credit card with absolutely no intention of paying it back.

We know, we know. This practice has been going on for a long time, longer than the Cornish Miners in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan have been trudging down into the pits of the copper mines with lunch in that canvas shoulder sack. At the moment, the controversy is about raising the Debt Ceiling from $31 Trillion to something even more unbelievable. In our personal lives, that would result in a minor effort to appear to not be spending so much. This discussion is about just piling more debt on top of what is already mouldering in the pile.

Buck, our resident Economist tried to explain the process. He started by saying that the annual Federal budget runs a deficit of about 1.5 Trillion each year. There was mild befuddlement at the number, since we all are at a point where we expect to receive a monthly allotment from the same people who are spending the public treasury in such an extraordinary manner. It would appear to not be “sustainable,” which is normally a factor in whether we need to fire up the Panzer and go spend more money at Belmont Farms.

It would seem that this represents a “bubble” of some kind, which would not be “sustainable.” We agreed that we no longer understand what either of those terms mean. Accordingly, we place them in “quotation marks” which signifies we don’t. This also appears to be.a function of the new Congress, part of which claims to be “against irresponsible spending” while voting to do exactly that. We may see some motion on that today or tomorrow, since Janet Yellen tells us extraordinary means- no quotation marks- will be required to avoid default. We are generally opposed to that, we think, but were stymied as we looked for ways to insert the quotation marks around other quotation marks.

That took another cup of Chock Full O’ Nuts and ended with laughter. They will doubtless do something without much discussion in order for the carnival to continue shambling along. So we went back to a discussion about the Cook Book, and a useful discussion on how to include the details of construction on a real, legitimate Upper Peninsula Pastie.

We had wasted enough time that the Morning Meeting threatened to become a discussion about either Brunch or the shorter version of “Lunch.” We had just enough quotation marks to continue, but not enough time to discuss how to make an effective tasty wrap for a succulent pocket-sized snack. We assigned Splash to find the recipe, and were only modestly surprised that he was already prepared. He rolled out a sheet of paper on the coffee table with some pride and began to read:

Michigan Upper Peninsula Pasties
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Recipe: Find keys to Truck. Go to the liquor store.
It is next to that European Grocery Store. Lidl? What the heck is that? “Buy a vowel?”
Buy some brown and clear liquids at the Belmont store.
Then, go next door.
At Lidl, grab one of those blue tubes of breakfast biscuits
And a bag of those frozen meatballs.
Maybe some catsup, if we are out, and some cheese.
Rutabaga, if you can figure out what it is.
Go home. The Blue Tube can be a lot of fun.
Bang it on the counter in the Kitchen until it “pops”
It helps to peel off the wrapper first but fun either way
Rip off two of the segments of round dough
Roll them nice and flat. One of the bottles from Belmont Farms works as a rolling pin.
Place a couple frozen meatballs on top with a layer of cheese, top and bottom.
Supplement with whatever condiments are still left in the fridge
Put a second flattened dough circle on top
Take a fork and neatly squash the edges of the two doughy parts together with neat lines
Insert in oven preheated to 350 degrees FAHRENHEIT (not Celcius! Been There, done that!)
Insert discussion about whether they have turned off the natural gas supply or not
If they haven’t, mix one of the clear or colored beverages in a nice cup and periodically check oven
When the objects appear to have “browned” on top, take them out.
They may be hot. Let them cool and then have one with another beverage.

SERVES: One, unless you prepare more. Preparation time? Dunno. Do we include drive time?

We all had a beverage as Splash read the precision directions. Some of us were still on coffee while others had moved on to something more progressive. If you are not a Michigander, this may lack a little immediacy, but with the panic about the Debt Ceiling, we completely understand. Our answer is that confronting an almost staggering amount of debt, we can still borrow enough cash to get to the store.

Our motto is this: “Yooper Pasties have a golden brown, flaky, buttery crust enveloping a meaty, savory mix of beef and vegetables. Tender, juicy, and with big bites of hearty potato, these pastries are, essentially, beef stew you can eat with your hands!” If you remembered to buy the vegetables, anyway. They’re perfect for meals on the go or when the weather gets cold, and a touch of home cooking is like warming yourself by the fire! Yooper Pasties will make you say “yep!” when you bite into them! Or something else. Splash got distracted on that part.

Copyright 2023 Vic Socotra
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