Natural Causes


(Eastern Market Guted. Video Capture courtesy of Allbritton Communications Company)
 
I don’t know if the Eastern Market fire was deliberately set or not. That is not my business.
 
I do know that the two arson investigators, who claimed it was, were pulled off the detail and are now driving around checking on fire hydrants. That is apparently the District version of internal exile, like the NYPD busting a detective to pound a beat on Staten Island.
 
This was long after the Fire Department called it an electrical fire, of natural causes.
 
Goodness knows the electrical system could have caused the conflagration. The old brick building was in continuous operation from 1873 until the fire broke out on April 30, 2007. The Market was expanded in 1908 with the addition of the Center and North Halls, and it was the last of the city’s public markets still in operation.
 
I went down there shortly after I heard that it had burned, since it is the way of things here in Washington that inconvenient things simply disappear. Like the bodies of the Nazi saboteurs the Feds executed in 1942.
 
But we found them, and I suspect the truth is out there too about the arsonist. The urgency has faded a bit, since the Market was refurbished, rebuilt, and re-opened. The famous Socotra Spaghet’ Carbonara was saved, in the end, by an alliance of local activists and effete cheese-lovers like us.
 
I was very concerned, for perfectly natural causes, since Bower’s Fancy Cheese stall is really the only place I would fully trust for fresh and Canales Quality Meats is the source for thick-cut home-smoked pepper bacon.
 
And half-smoke wieners, of course, the District’s national food, but that would get us off track.
 
There was another body in the Eastern Market case, and I know they were taking things seriously since a District cop chased me off the property while I was taking photographs of the destruction. The body was a curious sidelight to the internal exile of the arson investigators.
 
They had been looking into a rash of dumpster fires around the District that had been going on for nearly a year. Irritating. Frightening, really. A twenty-something creep named Joel Ramos was identified as a “person of interest.”
 
The cops even picked him up once, but they could not make it stick, and besides, the Fire Department was already on record as saying the Market had been the victim of age and old wiring- which enabled the insurance claims to be paid off swiftly.
 
I am in favor of that. The prospect of an interruption in cheese and specialty meat products was terrifying. Plus, one would hate to discover that there was a burgeoning industry in insurance fraud in our fair city.
 
The reason the cops could not make the arrest stick against Ramos was that he could not be brought to trial, since his body washed ashore in King George County, Va. The dumpster fires stopped after his death, which the coroner ruled “of natural causes.”
 
The heaviest damage from the fire was in the South Hall, where Bowers and the Canales stalls were located. The roof fell in, since the place was so gutted that the Washington Post description said “birds can now fly in through the front windows and out the back ones.”
 
Of course, the birds had always been flying around in the South Hall, which was one of the quirky things people like about it.
 
Anyway, alls well that ends well, except for the Arson Investigators and Mr. Ramos, and now that the weather is cool and cooking is fun again, you might want to stop by the refurbished market.
 
Bowers and Canales are back in business, so I thought I would pass along a godsend of a quick meal for a dark weekday evening.
 
Socotra Spaghet’ Carbonara:

Fixin’s:
 
1/2 pound bacon, chopped (Canales thick-cut pepper bacon from Eastern
Market)
3 hefty cloves chopped garlic
More freshly ground black pepper
1 pound fresh spaghetti, cooked al dente
4 large eggs, beaten
Sea or Kosher salt (coarse)
1 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano (Bowers Eastern Market) Couple
tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley leaves
 
Cookin’:
 
Fry the bacon until crispy- I like the slow-cooked method, which defeats the purpose of this quick fix dinner, but you know. Remove the bacon and drain on paper towels. Pour off all of the oil except for 3 tablespoons (slow cooking keeps the drippings clear). Add the garlic, season with black pepper and blast the heat to sauté for a minute or so or until it starts to caramelize.
 
Crumble the bacon and add to the pasta. Sauté again for a minute or so to get everything comfortable with each other. Season the eggs with the sea salt. Remove the pan from the heat and add the eggs, whisking quickly until the eggs thicken, but do not scramble. Maybe the right word is to “toss” the pasta with the eggs- has to be hot enough to thicken without cooking the eggs to scrambled- though what the hell, that is only a texture matter.
 
Add the cheese and re-season with salt and pepper. Mound into serving bowls and garnish with parsley.
 
You can add green peas for a dash of color to go with the parsley- or finely diced red peppers or whatever. They have colorful vegetables at the Market, so you can do as you please.
 
You will anyway, right?
 
A pal commented that just reading the ingredients made his arteries start to harden. I say you can’t eat this stuff all the time, but once in a while wont kill you, and even if it does, it will be of natural causes.
 
I’ll try to remember to get you the recipe for Pasta F’zoole tomorrow.  It is really healthy, I swear.

Copyright 2009 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com

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Written by Vic Socotra

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