Amanda was very stern with us this morning. It fit the skies, which had retreated from severe dark booming and bright flashes of lightning to a more gentle but persistent rainfall. The Chairman was in an agitated state over the annual chimney cleaning, a necessary job in the country, but the idea of workmen on the steel slick roof required a call to the insurance company to examine his liability coverage.

Amanda had reviewed the slide and approved the usual message. “You can use the regular disclaimer. I think the legal opinion stands. All this stuff is going on, but the likelihood of anything happening to anyone in particular today- or even this week- is statistically still unlikely.”

“The likelihood is unlikely?”

“That is the legal opinion, and should protect anyone directly employed by Socotra House LLC from liability for having an opinion about that.”

There was some general nodding around the group huddled under the awning at the bunkhouse, attempting to stay moisture free. Loma had a question, though. “That would only be you, Amanda. Isn’t the fact that the Chairman decided to treat us all as Independent Contractors a factor in liability? He pushed that back to us, which means we are responsible for our opinions.”

“Exactly. That is how things work now to avoid liability for things that don’t make a great deal of sense.”

“But that implies we all need our own lawyers to ensure we are not crossways between the Chairman and his provision of the Bunkhouse and the opinion of whoever in the national government who would seek to prosecute violations of the Uniform Code of Military Justice which have never been successfully prosecuted.”

“That is why being lawyered up is pretty much the only way to avoid liability against the multiple layers of laws, some of them contradictory. That is why I chose a career in the field.” Her official judgement having been passed, she folded the cover on her tablet, stood smartly, straightened her skirt and prepared to get on with the rest of her morning.

Splash laughed. “Let me get this straight. All the stuff worth talking about in the news is pretty much illegal already, right? So the answer is to pass some more laws that will either not be obeyed or not prosecuted, right?”

Amanda almost sat down again, but smiled instead. “I heard that if we can reduce the average citizen’s legal expenses, inflation could come down dramatically.”

“Isn’t that like demanding the oil companies produce more but charge less?”

She slid her tablet into a backpack, hoisted it to her shoulder and reached for an umbrella. “I would seek council from your legal staff on that one. In case you want to litigate the matter.”

“Couldn’t that subject us to liability as a class of independent employees?”

Amanda smiled and reached out for the rail above the steps leading down toward the parking area near the barn. “I would not rely on my advise in that regard. Maybe if I pass the Commonwealth Bar next month. Have a great day!”

We took a poll, limited in scope to those present, that we felt conveyed an accurate sense of our response, individually provided but subject to definition as a distinct class of workers. We limited it initially to two choices, but after discussion, expanded that to cover the unique sub-components of the class, which was about five. We agreed a summation was appropriate, provided it not be used as a causa belli. We thought “befuddled” summed it up pretty accurately, though we could not remember the Latin term for that.

Copyright 2022 Vic Socotra
www.vicsocotra.com